Penchant for pen

Don’t know if I should be exuberant with joy or just stay calm and not write a line about it – but when the first ever tangible gift from writing something came to me and I held it in my hands, it felt like a prized possession, because this is the first tangible object to have gratified my inner calling of writing – it’s a room freshener from Amipur, that is currently looking down upon me from the bookshelf and having its calm fragrance linger in the air. Well, it certainly feels good because no matter how small or insignificant or earthly, it instigates a subdued pride, though otherwise suppressed, has had the best of me over years.

Promises, unkept

What a smile can do? A lot. What a child’s smile can do – unbelievable. 
While I was waiting in the hospital outside the HDU (similar concept intensive care) for hours just to get an update about my father’s condition or any hint of his prognosis, I noticed a girl of about 4/5 years, playing alone in the waiting lounge holding a packet of potato chips and boasting that she was fat from eating junk foods as that. In no time, she made friends with the otherwise stern looking hospital staffs and came to sit next to me and before I realized, I was making origami for her, and keeping her requests as best I could. Soon we ran out of paper. Finally she was taken home by her mother. 
Surprisingly, I came across her in the hospital again today. She immediately recognized me as the uncle who made her paper toys. Sadly I had no paper with me, but she managed to get hold of some torn newspaper and came to me. I asked her what brought her to the hospital and she said that her father was going through dialysis, of course without knowing the gravity of the situation and I realized why she was playing alone in the waiting area. As I had to go, I promised to make her more toys once I returned to the same floor, which almost skipped my mind as other worries took over. 
When I was leaving the hospital today, I chanced to catch a glimpse of her in the lift lobby – she came running towards the lift I was in but the door was closing and someone stopped her. I couldn’t make her another toy jet or boat today, but it saddened me to think about what must be going on with her family. Yet little worried about reality she smiled, she brightened up my day and so many others, I am sure.

Father and Son

Finally, it is good to see dad recover from the state of health, known by the medical jargon I would never be able to recall. A big relief indeed. For last couple of days, whenever I had to feed him the stipulated and tasteless diet prescribed for him, I had to literally tell him stories of what is happening around while he is trapped inside this hospital room, made him watch tv, and promise him to whatever he wanted after getting released from the hospital – as if we went through a role reversal and I was acting like a father and he was as impatient and restless as my 8 months old.

Ultimately,  I am happy to be there for him when he needed me.

First Card

There is a big deal about first time for everything – and it is a remarkable day for me because today someone asked for my card and I gave it to him. It’s not that I didn’t get such a request before, but I never got a chance to offer as I never had one to. It is because of the forthcoming social activities and some good press I am looking up to, I got my first set of visiting cards printed and when I was talking to the medical head of Fortis hospital (Not naming him intentionally), he wanted me to tell him do what I do for a living – following the more stereotype answer to that what I could possible give, I was surprised to recall the moment that I had the nerve to tell him that I am also a writer and he demanded to see my card, which I gleefully obliged. So there rests my first ever card, with him, safely in his purse when I am writing this post. It’s a remarkable sense of ‘self preservation’, that I have to write about.

Oddly enough, there is another side of the coin and there is no denying it as to why the meet happened to one of the most influential person in that hospital, for otherwise there was no reason to. I am sure he didn’t meet the family of the poor fellow who expired in the critical care unit, just a few beds apart from my dad, to express his sincere condolences or for the counseling of anyone else equally critical if not more. I admitted my father on emergency and there after to the ICU following the medical attention he needed. However, thirty six hours from there, when I asked one of the doctors in today’s morning hour how was my father recovering – he suggested that I go talk to my ad on that. Irony to the situation of what hospitality really means and those very people whose living depend on the very same profession and who charge rather hefty for the same, it is a wastage of words to describe how callous that could be.So we had to pull some strings to reach the director of the hospital to get answers to our satisfaction.

Going further from here – I unraveled a rather nasty means of moneymaking in the arena of healthcare, named basin test, where so called pathological diagnostic centers, collect samples from people and simply throw it away without the least heed to what nonsense they put in pen and paper, as report. Had this not been the case, my father, who was certified normal in earlier part of the day, would not have to be rushed to emergency the same night owing to electrolytic imbalance (deficiency of sodium and surplus potassium). So first time for a lot of things, huh!

Difficult Times

Last 48 hours have been challenging and one of the most difficult times I have ever faced. I had to hospitalize my dad into hospital owing to a medical emergency and then withstand the suffering of watching him go through the agony of treatment, like having more than one channels made into his hands for feeding saline and medicine or forced urination through catheter, which even in the hands of professionals in a reputed hospital in Kolkata, can be painful. Moreover, the suffering of electrolytic imbalance (high potassium and low sodium content in serum) made him mentally unstable (would do so anyone as a matter of fact) and hence supporting him through the emotional fluctuations (which is mostly paranoia) while acting as the mental support system to the rest of my family, took me quite a lot of strength but though exhausting – here I stand, as the mast, of a storm stricken old fashioned ship in some turbulent ocean. Today, I feel I’ve truly become the son of my father and I can not help but notice the uncanny similarity to the ship set out on a voyage for unknown.