Rudiments of separation

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Rudiments of separation

The stage is set – a
picturesque station, a
sizzling steam engine –
All you have to do is
Board the train and
Wave your hands;
so that our endless banter
can fade with its
transient whistles;
Easy, albeit remains a fantasy
No, you don’t have to trace
your finger on lips,
that almost got cut
when we kissed,
Pick your clothes
silently, leave with a
creak of the door
Wearing my scent, sweat.
If you wish to bid good bye
Say it like you mean it,
You’ve more vitality than
the dying river; that
Leaves its sludge
At every bend; although
that alluvium is very fertile,
It is hardly fecund.

Say good bye, like there’s no brooding over.


After a long time I have not written for any prompt – just something on my own. I feel very let down today and there is no other medium that could paint my sadness. May be I will link up to OLN later this week.


29 thoughts on “Rudiments of separation

  1. This is such a sad piece.. and I think the metaphor of that train station and the river dying clogged with alluvium is very strong. A separation is always sadder when somebody or something just sneaks away. Our poems today seem to address the same emotion, but with different images.

  2. This is really lovely, and I love the way the format leads the cadence. The powerful emotions are also brought home by the short line lengths and odd breaks, really well done!

  3. Such a sad poem, so full of passionate grief. The way the stanzas move farther away from the starting point emphasizes the leaving. Indeed, we seem to be writing about leavings, changes, pain…..all different but so joined. This is a wonderful write.

  4. You’ve expressed your sadness well, made us feel it along with you. My favorite lines are: “If you wish to bid good bye / Say it like you mean it.” Thanks for sharing at OLN. Peace, Linda

  5. This poem captures so well what you are experiencing right now…sometimes it seems that pain of whatever source becomes a source of strong expression, as it is in this poem. I pray things will ease up for you soon. Thanks for sharing today.

  6. There is a big difference between saying goodbye…as hard as it might be, and sneaking off in order to avoid the pain of separation… the sneaking off results in much more pain in the long run. Powerful piece. Sorry that you have been hurt.

  7. The shape of the short staccato lines give the poem a lot of dark punch/energy/movement–edging away from the left side, the status quo is a effective use of space too. One hopes this sadness of yours is shared as allegory, that there is not a direct emotional attachment to the written circumstances, but it is written so direct, so powerfully, metaphor or reflection, it emerges as transcendent poetics.

  8. If you wish to bid good bye
    Say it like you mean it,
    You’ve more vitality than
    the dying river

    Some strong words likely to result in some tough exchange. One sometimes have to take a stand that others may have to adjust to! Great word craft Abhra!

    Hank

  9. “Say it like you mean it” indeed! This is very powerful, Abhra. I love this….so much emotion in it. There is nothing more painful than a cowardly goodbye that is not truly spoken in words but that cuts just the same.

  10. These are my favorite sections:

    “No, you don’t have to trace
    your finger on lips,
    that almost got cut
    when we kissed”

    “You’ve more vitality than
    the dying river”

I would like to know what you think about this :